


Trading Places

by Darkchi13



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Day 2, Good Heinz, Perryshmirtz Week, Reassigned, Takes place in the Got Game episode, evil perry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchi13/pseuds/Darkchi13
Summary: The misbehavinator hits Perry by accident.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23
Collections: Perryshmirtz Week 2020





	Trading Places

**Author's Note:**

> Heinz created the misbehavinator to make good dogs act bad but at the end of the episode it accidentally hits Buford who suddenly acts all nice and polite which made me think about what it would do to to Perry if it hit him and vice versa if it hit Heinz.

“Perry the Platypus!”

Heinz Doofenshmirtz was not a stranger to embarrassment. It was one of the emotions he felt very frequently, daily even, one might say. This was different though. This was giving your nemesis scritches and cooing at them. Thankfully Perry went up into the ceiling and Heinz followed. Nothing like a struggle to erase embarrassment. He caught up just as the platypus was about to jump for a helicopter. The scientist lunged forward knocking the smaller mammal into the ground. A struggle ensued and, in the struggle, the inator went off a couple times. One of the rays bounced off the helicopter, hit a window and reflected back where it struck Perry in the back of the head. 

They stared at each other for a moment before the platypus’s eyes narrowed. This time it was Perry that lunged and much faster than Heinz was used to. The next sequence of events happened too quickly for the scientist to stop. Perry brought his feet down, with pin point accuracy, on Heinz’s leg and the man felt the bone snap. The platypus grabbed the inator, pointed it at Heinz and shot him point blank in the face with it. The man was still blinking light out of his eyes as his nemesis dropped something on the ground and took off. 

Heinz laid on the ground confused and in pain for a moment before leaning up into a sitting position. He carefully put no weight on his leg as he looked around. The scientist had a pretty high pain tolerance but if he could avoid pain he absolutely would. Thankfully the dropped item was within arms reach. It was a watch. Heinz poked at it and blinked as the face of Major Monogram appeared on it. 

“Agent P, what’s wrong…Doofenshmirtz.”

Wow. That was a lot of disgust infused in his name. Also, something he was used to, but he hadn’t realized he inspired that amount of anger in Monogram. 

“What have you done with Agent P?”

“There was a bit of an incident with my new inator,” Heinz admitted. “I called it the misbehavinator and was using it to make well trained dogs, well, misbehave but Perry accidentally got hit with it and I think it made him evil.”

“Agent P? Evil?”

“Shut up Carl! Why do you think that?”

Heinz felt his leg for a moment, face screwed up in pain. 

“Well for one he snapped the bone in my leg in two different places, shot me with the inator, dropped this watch and then ran. None of which are signs of a good guy.”

“Hmm. This isn’t good at all. If Agent P has gone rogue we’ll have to reassign someone else to Doofenshmirtz and find someone willing to fight Agent P.”

“Actually Sir. I have an idea.”

A heavy sigh emitted from the watch which made Heinz raise his eyebrow.

“Oh all right, what is it Carl?”

“What if we assigned Dr. Doofenshmirtz to Agent P?”

“That’s a horrible idea Carl! For one Doofenshmirtz is evil and two he is human.”

“I was legally adopted by ocelots actually,” Heinz said helpfully.

“And I’m not sure number one is a problem either Sir. How are you feeling Dr. D?”

“I’m okay. I mean I have a broken leg and my nemesis is evil, so not good, but I’m alive. I’m trying to focus on that.”

Alive was good. Heinz could fix things as long as he was alive. 

“And do you still want to take over the tri-state area?”

“Actually no,” he admitted. “Right now, I want to stop Perry the Platypus before he does something he will regret.”

“What’s the meaning of this Carl?” 

“I thought about it when he said Agent P shot him with the inator. I think its less of a misbehavinator and more of a morality changer-inator.”

Heinz thought about the science that went into making the inator and blinked. 

“How about that. I hadn’t event considered that a possibility but your right.”

“Did you hear that Sir? I’m right.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t go getting a big head Carl. I suppose Doofenshmirtz does know Agent P the best, and he is legally an animal. I want it on record I still think this is a bad idea but alright. Doctor Doofenshmirtz you’re hired, and your first job is to stop whatever ex-agent P is planning. Monogram out.”

The watch goes dark before Heinz could reply and he shrugged. It shouldn’t be too hard. Really, he just needs to hit Perry with the inator again. So, he needs to find the platypus, get the inator from him and actually hit the fast guy with it all with a broken leg…easy peasy. 

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated_

Heinz hobbled his way into his building on the crutches some nice lady lent him. Two things he needed. First to use the bone healer-inator. Yes, he broke bones frequently enough to warrant an inator specifically for them. Two, he needed to cobble together an inator that would allow him to track Perry. Huh, his place was awfully dark wasn’t it? Oh, there was Norm.

“Hey Norm. I need your help with something.”

Something was wrong. Norm wasn’t moving. Heinz limped his way over and frowned. None of Norm’s lights were on and his chest was open. There was no squirrel to be seen. 

“Oh buddy.”

Heinz lifted his hand to touch Norm’s cold lifeless face. 

“I’ll fix you” he promised. “Squirrels are a dime a dozen in the park. I’ll get you running again in no time.”

Naturally there was no response but the lights in the room flickered briefly before turning on and there standing in from of him was Perry. 

_Commercial Break_

“Perry the evil Platypus. And here I thought I would have to go looking for you. Do you have a trap for me?”

His nemesis let out a smug noise and Heinz frowned. 

“Well that’s just rude. You may have broken my leg but I’m hardly helpless. You know they say a scientist’s best weapon is his hands…well technically its his brain but he needs the hands to bring the brain to life.”

Heinz was really hoping his nemesis focused on his arms next time instead of his legs. Perry moved, still faster than Heinz was used to which made the scientist wonder if the platypus was holding back in their usual fights. If he was, they were going to be having words. The mammal kicks Heinz’s crutches away and then knocked him down. His ass landed in a chair which momentarily distracted him as he was sure there was nothing there previously. His broken leg landed on a stool and rope comes up to hold Heinz in place. 

“You did make me a trap,” he said delighted.

Well, more like he used one of Heinz’s traps against him, but the thought counted. 

Perry hopped up onto Heinz’s lap and held up a picture. Heinz did his best to ignore the weight on his thighs as he tested the rope. 

“That’s my away-inator Perry the Evil Platypus. Are you just going to shoot all your problems away? I expected more ingenuity from you.”

Perry casually reached back and slammed a hand down Heinz’s leg. Anything else he was going to say was lost in a wave of pain. 

“Point taken,” he gasped. 

What had been his plan again? Heal himself and then hit Perry with the morality changer-inator again. Well his healing-inator is in another room and he doesn’t even know where the morality one is…wait there it is. It’s sitting on a table next to Norm. Heinz flicked his eyes over the room as he thought. One of his crutches had fallen beside the chair he’s tied up to. That’s a lot of good luck, he’s almost suspicious of it. The scientist loses his train of thought as a tiny hand unerringly finds its way to the break again. 

“Ow, Ow, I’m trying to think here.”

Now it was time for Heinz to up the speed. He snapped the ropes holding him down with his titanium arm easily and slid an object under Perry’s hat, 

“Self destruct button,” he said and threw the platypus away from him. 

As Perry ripped the hat off, only for a smoke bomb to hit him in the face, Heinz grabbed the crutch and hobbled over to the morality changer-inator. The scientist swept it up into his hand and turned only for Perry to be gone. Smoke still drifted in places but there was no sign of the platypus. Heinz awkwardly shuffled back towards the door that led to his healing-inator. He kept the morality changer up as he moved. A flash of turquoise caught his eye just as Perry came at his arm with a kick. The sound of metal vibrated around the room as Perry dropped in surprise. Heinz wasted no time in shooting him with the inator. Perry’s eyes widened and the scientist eyed him worriedly. 

“Hey there, Perry the Platypus. How are you feeling?”

“Krrrr,” Perry hung his head sadly. 

“Now now, none of that. Anything you did can be blamed on my inator. Not on you.”

“Krrr,” went Perry again gesturing to Heinz’s leg.

“Not your fault,” Heinz repeated firmly. “In fact. I have an inator that will make it better. Would you like to push the button?”

The platypus hesitated for a second before nodding. 

“Excellent. This way. Now that I’m thinking about it, it seems rather selfish of me to keep the inator for myself. I really should donate it to a hospital where it can help more people."

Heinz hobbled his way into the room he had mentally dubbed his healing room. The scientist gots into place, drops the morality changer-inator, and pointed at a remote. 

“That’s the one Perry the Platypus. Just hit the green button.”

The platypus did after a second of hesitation. A blast of blue light hit the scientist and he clenched his jaw as the bone knit back together. Once the light cleared, he got back to his feet and threw the crutch away with a laugh. 

“See Perry the Platypus. All better. Now let us find me a phone, I have a hospital to call.”

His crutch smacked into the morality changer-inator and a blast went out. It bounced off a few things before hitting Heinz in the bead.

“A hospital? Eugh, what was I thinking? Why didn’t you stop me Perry the Platypus? Well, at least I came to my senses in time.”

Heinz stretched his arms above his head before throwing the communicator at his nemesis. 

“Have your watch back. I have no idea how you deal with Monogram on a daily basis. Couldn’t do it. Oooh was that what you wanted the away-inator for? It’s not too late you know.”

Perry pointedly rolled his eyes at the scientist before activating the watch. 

“Oh good. Agent P, you are back. Doofenshmirtz you are fired. I have no idea how you deal with that man every day Agent P. Could not do it. Naturally we had to fire you since you went rogue, but you are officially re-hired and I am reassigning you to Doofenshmirtz. Monogram out.”

Perry didn’t even try to hide his smile as the morality changer-inator blew up for some weird reason. Things were back to normal.


End file.
